"Fine... I'll Just Masturbate Again"

Jennifer and Dana cover all of Book Three (Chapters 74-80) and announce the Scandalous Chakras, bond over making fun of people who talk on speaker phone in public places, their love of Dudley Moore and discover that they each have very different vacation styles while on cruises and are both really mediocre at dirty talk.

"I'm Sorry I Glossed Over the Threesome"

Jennifer and Dana cover Chapters 69-73, concluding Book Two. This epic episode brings back the bend and snap dance move while the girls extensively discuss body piercings, a funny fetus story, ladies who baby shower, and what you do when literally in Rome (spoiler alert: have sex).

"Random Acts of Sexness"

Jennifer and Dana cover Chapters 63-68 and express their dismay over being terrible at spray tans, recount the amazingly fun Scandalous Diamonds launch party, wonder whether Queen Elizabeth reads Jackie Collins and deliver a PSA about not dating married peaople.

"Addicted to Dicks"

Jennifer and Dana cover Chapters 58-62 and gush over Sebastian Bach's scandalous shout-out while discussing the infamous Cocaine Bear, saggy old guy butts, the inspiration for "Where's Waldo," and Ham and Leg breakfast buffests at the strip club.

"Loose Lips Sink Ships"

Jennifer and Dana cover Chapters 49-57 and laugh about bizarre wedding photos, profuse sweating through Hawaiian shirts, being fancy with your periods and burying bodies in Nevada.

"Leave Your Boundaries at the Door"

Jennifer and Dana cover Chapters 44 to the middle of Chapter 49 and chat about a whole town that doesn't understand consent, why the decent guys are either married or hiding, the power of ponchos, what's really inside those unmarked moving trucks and the incomparable hotness of Atticus Finch in To Kill a Mockingbird. The girls also offer their party attendance services as long as you pay all of their expenses.

“Bitch, I'm a Dermatologist!”

Jennifer and Dana cover Chapters 41-43 and discuss stalking a socialite in order to get her plastic surgeon's name, whether they would survive or thrive in prison, paranormal experiences while on vacation, preach about the beauty of chubby thighs, and agree that the best space movie ever made is Spaceballs.

“They Aren't Stripin' at That Gas Station”

Jennifer and Dana cover Chapters 37-40 and stay on brand by discussing hormonal mood swings, mathematics, murdering cockroaches, keeping your expectations low, prison pen pals, and their great new idea for a truch stop/strip club.

“Narcotics and Baby Canals”

Jennifer and Dana cover Chapters 33-36, record from bed after Dana's hysterectomy (where she advises listeners that a catheter is not an adventure), recount their first listener bad date story, and imagine the dysfunction of electrolysis in 1875.

“I’m Not One to Kink-Shame, But That's a Weird Kink”

Jennifer and Dana cover Chapters 28-32, concluding Book One. They single-handedly keep Glen Campbell's memory alive, discuss tired strippers, supernatural love triangles, bedazzled vaginas, and deliver several PSA's.

“I’m Just Here to Get My Paycheck”

Jennifer and Dana cover Chapters 22-27, debrief on the Crazy Love documentary, ponder compound cock words, cold places to have hurried sex and one-night stands on cruises.

“The Hounds of Pussywillow”

Jennifer and Dana cover Chapters 18-21 and discuss 1980’s Sherlock Holmes, swingin’ titties, and an auction for individual AA batteries and Saran-wrapped bananas.

“A Funny Feeling Where Her Bathing Suit Touches”

Jennifer and Dana cover Chapters 11 -17 and wonder if anything is legal in ‘Nam anymore. They discuss Paul Newman’s sexy looks and sexier salad dressings, pop-up Merle Haggard concerts, biker gangs and warn listeners to not throw their backs out booty groovin’ to the Scandalous Diamonds theme song.

"This is Some Backwards Shit"

Jennifer and Dana cover Chapters 5-11, the wonders of 70's vans, tater tots vs. cornflakes in the hot dish battles of the Midwest, and the combo handgun/dildo prototype.

"Whore for Dior"

Jennifer and Dana cover Chapters 3 & 4 while providing little tidbits of knowledge and discussing overdosing on gummy vitamins and how Aunt Franny got her groove back.

"Irregular Chicken"

Jennifer and Dana cover Chapters 1 & 2 of Jackie Collins' hit book American Star: A Love Story, where listeners will meet the two main characters. They put the "fun" in funerals, relive Jennifer's trauma of touching her dead grandmother who was embalmed to look like Lady Bird Johnson, and ponder the existence of Kentucky Fried Chicken outlets.

"The Blazergan"

Jennifer and Dana discuss Jennifer's discovery of Jackie Collins, life in the 80s and 90s and the magic of blazers, waterbeds and high-tech bathrooms.

"Fine... I'll Just Masturbate Again"

Jennifer and Dana cover all of Book Three (Chapters 74-80) and announce the Scandalous Chakras, bond over making fun of people who talk on speaker phone in public places, their love of Dudley Moore and discover that they each have very different vacation styles while on cruises and are both really mediocre at dirty talk.